When hearts are Hurting

Over the years as we have fostered kids who have walked through hard times in their lives, we have had to stick by them through some difficult times!  We've had littles ones who have suffered greatly by those who claim to love them, teenagers who are trying to find their way in a dis functional family, and those who have needed our family for a few days or some-for a life time.

These past few weeks have been difficult ones as one trigger after another has started our children on a roll of disregulation.  One child's memories have set off some of the others creating a snowball effect in our home. There have been difficult days and hours where we have had to come beside the ones rolling out of control as well as the ones they are effecting by their behaviors....despite our trials ...we have tried to find the lessons in these past two weeks and have looked to The Lord for answers.  As he promised, he has met us in our trials, we have learned some hard lessons of our hearts conditions as he refines us in the fire.

An amazing thing to watch is the forgiveness that has been given over and over by our precious 13 year old son.  Our son has walked through many things and has had some difficult times processing what happened to him early in his life. One of the first lessons we start teaching all kids who come here is about forgiveness and thankfully it is one he has learned well. As he was the target for one of his siblings, he has humbled himself over and over again. Even when reduced to tears over the events of the day, he has continued to offer forgiveness. As we look to the lessons to be learned, we are so thankful for his willingness to love his sibling through this difficult time!  We are grateful for his loving example.

As we begin to flush out the whys and what- fors and start building that illusive thing called trust...we will work past this difficult time knowing that we will have somehow all have grown through it. The fire has been hot but the hope lies in the gifts of refinement and rebuilding.

We recently studied thanksgiving and how we should give thanks in all things and have offered prayers of thanksgiving as our home has struggled. We have felt gratitude in dad's willingness to come along side us on a work day to help circle the wagons. We pray this soon will pass and are grateful that The Lord has kept us strog for this race and picked us up when we have stumbled. 

Perspective

Sometimes people often ask questions out do curiosity about our family not realizing it sometimes feels like an interrogation.... 

That very thing happens often to me and even happened today at church....one of the moms asked questions about our family....why did you grow your family through foster care? Why adopt? Why so many? How do you keep everyone 'safe'? As the questions tumbled out of her mouth I knew there must be a reason for all of this....and there was....a family member in her life had a baby and they were faced with the decision whether to step in for a baby or not....she was trying to figure out why we would do what we do when they had decided to turn away from someone in their own family. But these are the times that make me think about the Lords leading in our family and the word that comes to mind is PERSPECTIVE.

It is all about perspective and God is usually involved in stretching us and changing our perspective as he leads us through trials, introduces us to new people who challenge us with living more for him and more dying to self. Dying to self has been a theme in studies lately that keeps resurfacing and it has challenged me in how I think about the calling on our lives to do what we do each day and look at it through His eyes.

Why foster care and why so many was answered to this is where The Lord has lead us! As for the number, I remember as a new bride telling my mother in law that anyone with 4  kids must be crazy....insert foot to mouth as I often spoke then before thinking as my husband is the oldest of 4 kids....yes I said 4!  When we started this journey we never envisioned 4,5 or even 6 kids. now we find ourselves with 9 and tell The Lord that He is now in charge of the how many will eventually join our family. When we let Him take over our lives amazing things happen and our perspective changes! Six kids seems pretty easy and the addition of more doesn't seem so crazy any more!

As foster parents we are often told that the kids we have are so lucky to be with us but perspective has changed this....we feel so lucky to have hem in our lives because they have changed us more than we have changed them. We have given them safety, security,love...a home. In return, we have received security and safety in knowing The Lord will provide for us no matter what, grateful for the things provided, the friendships and support that have been forged, and the love of children who remember what it was like before in their lives before coming here.  Everyone's perspective has changed and while we walked this road together the greatest and most amazing thing happened....God knit our hearts together to form a beautiful family.

What perspective is The Lord changing in your life? What area are you being challenged in ....let God do his marvelous work in you and see what things change in your life!